Ness is Everything

Shortly before Tom and I met, I watched You, Me and Dupree. It's a cute movie, but not one I'd go over the top in my praise for, and certainly not one that I'm recommending that everyone watch.

However, the movie held a key theme that I continuously go back to when I'm having a rough time. I won't describe the entire plot, but basically one of the characters (Carl) is in a slump. He can't really find his mojo, his relationships are struggling, and he just isn't in the groove. Owen Wilson's character tells him that he has lost his "-Ness", and that he needs to reconnect with his Carl-ness to improve things with his job, his wife, his life.

I love the idea of giving a name to your inner self, your essence, that spark that makes you you. And so often since then I have reminded myself to reconnect with my ness.

When Tom and I met, I was entering my last semester of grad school. I was stressed about my thesis, about finding a job after graduation, about deciding what to do with my life. I was bogged down in my small and personal struggles, and had most definitely lost my Dana-ness.

On one chilly day, just a month or so after we met, we hiked Kennesaw Mountain together. Near the top, we sat on a little rock overlooking the entire valley. We talked about ourselves and our families, and it was one of our first conversations that really went beyond the initial "getting to know you" phase of the relationship. In the midst of what must have been a woe-is-me speech about my thesis and grad school angst, Tom said simply that I just needed to find my -ness.

The suggestion made me stop short, made me forget my troubles, made me smile.

Let's be honest - You, Me and Dupree isn't really one of those movies that will go down in history as a "must-watch". It certainly isn't a quotable movie that carved itself a niche in US pop culture. In fact, you probably haven't thought much of the movie since it came out. To write this post, I actually had to search google and wikipedia to remember which movie "-ness" even came from.

So when Tom - the Tom I didn't even know yet - told me I needed to find my -ness, when he said exactly  the right thing that made me stop short and redirect my thoughts, I knew. I knew this guy might just be a keeper. Suddenly our conversation was transformed from negative to positive. Rather than talking about the negatives in our life, we each began to talk about our own -ness. He learned about my Dana-ness, and I learned about his Tom-ness.

Every time we walk past that spot, we remember that time almost three years (three years!!) ago. We always mention it. "Here is where we talked about our ness." "Remember that day...."

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Somehow a really stellar 2009 and 2010 turned into a really shitty 2011. One for the record books. I haven't been myself, and I have felt lost, confused, broken, and sad. I have lost my ness. Starting today, right now, I am going to find it and bring it back. Rather than focusing on external circumstances - both the good and the bad - I am going to focus on my internal Dana.

Because after all, the things I want are not things at all. The things I want are already here - love, peace, security, happiness. I just have to remove the clutter and bring them to the surface.

This December, this month of purchasing and buying and making haste and rushing, I am going to slow down, take a deep breath, and live my life. Rather than worry about tomorrow, I am going to love the very moment. This moment. This one right here.

Wishing you the very best day, and hoping that your own -ness is quite intact and is guiding you on your path.

Books

1. PaperBack Swap
Have y'all heard about PaperBack Swap? Just heard about it a few weeks ago and it has changed.my.life. Here's how it works: Upload books you want to get rid of, get a notification that someone wants your book, mail it to that person, and recieve a credit to request a book from someone else!

So far I have sent out about six books that I didn't want anymore, and am waiting on my first book to come to me. It is absolutely free (though you do pay the shipping for any books you send out). Best part: you can get rid of books that are taking up space in your house.

2. Anne Rice
First off, let me say that I really haven't bought into the whole Twilight/Vampire/Edward vs. whats-his-name thing. I read the first book and didn't see what the fuss was about, and I consider Anne Rice to be the real champion of this genre.

I read Interview with a Vampire about ten years ago, and was immediately swept up in her writing. I have no idea why I didn't continue on in the series, but plan on remedy-ing that now. My first PaperBack Swap request was actually a book that includes the first three books in the Vampire Chronicles (Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and Queen of the Damned). Can't wait!!! (And since I don't remember much of IwtT, I'll reread it too.)

3. Barbara Vine (errr Ruth Rendell)
Barbara Vine is amazing. As is Ruth Rendell. They are the same person - Barbara Vine is a pseudonym that Ruth Rendell uses, and she is a British mystery writer.

I don't like horror and I don't like gore. But I loooovvveee a good mystery. BV (RR) surely delivers. Here is the thing that sets her apart. Throughout the entire novel, you know who the murderer is, but you don't know who the victim is or how they were killed.

Mind: blown.

The first time you read a book like this it kind of rocks your world. The first book I read by her (and still my favorite of hers) is A Fatal Inversion. I might read it again myself.

I just finished House of Stairs by Barbara Vine. I really liked it, but still prefer A Fatal Inversion.

One note: I am never pulled immediately into her novels - unable to put the book down. Rather, it is like a whirlpool, where in the beginning you are far on the outside, barely unaware that you are spinning, and as you continue reading you spin faster and faster until you are unable to put the book down. That always happens when I read her books, when I begin to know her characters, so if you
aren't pulled in within the first 20 pages don't despair.

Happy Friday!

A Quite Right Nite

Sometimes things just click don't they?

I looked up from what I was doing just now and realized that I was indeed quite happy.

Not ecstatic.

Not melancholy.

Somewhere in between. That comfortable space where who you are melds seamlessly with where you are and what you are doing.

I'm not one to ignore such occasions. I'll note these little details, and if I ever find myself on the melancholy side of the line I'll know where to come to.

Sewing.

Drinking wine.

Listening to my Adele station on Pandora.

Windows open.

Rain drizzling outside.

As frustrating as I thought doing my first sewing project would be (don't worry, a post will follow as soon as I am finished), instead I am realizing how peaceful this activity is. I've been sipping on the same glass of wine for an hour or two now, and it is a lovely wine that my friend Christina gave me when she came to visit last weekend.

Nothing fancy here, just a simple evening creating and relaxing and hanging with my pup.

These little days add up to something lovely, don't they?

 

Ellijay Apple Festival - 2011

Yesterday we got up early and made the drive up to North Georgia for the Ellijay Apple Festival. You may remember that we did the same thing way back in 2010.

We had fun again this year, even though we didn't try out the corn maze, and even though they didn't have the farm animals (lame! this is by far my favorite section of any fair). In fact, I almost don't need to give you a recap of Apples 2011, since it was so similar to Apples 2010. Except with better hair and without the cute jeans (they got an unmendable tear earlier this year - sniffle).

2010

2011

Yesterday was the perfect fall day - crisp cool morning, lazy drive into North Georgia, slowly changing leaves.... and then the mercury rose to 80 degrees. Sigh, I can't for a moment pretend that I am in New England with these balmy temperatures.

We had a lot of fun eating fried apple pies (Tom), people watching (me), choosing the perfect pumpkin (Tom), getting a New Orleans Sno Ball (me - woot! <-- anyone else love these things?), and eating fried pickles (both of us).

Yes, I know I need to moisturize. Srsly.

Handsome man and fried apple pie

Chainsaw Art in the works

I don't know what this is...but it makes me wish I was 5

Mango Sno Ball - Not as good as NOLA, but close

20 minutes picking out a pumpkin (and asking the attendant for advice)

On the way home we looked at leaves (naturally) and grilled out at a nearby state park. The second half of this post shall henceforth be referred to as: "Burgers, Bananagrams, and Beer"

 I would like to point out that I won our game of Bananagrams:

And that Tom lost:

But it was a close match. Playing Bananagrams in the middle of the woods, next to a river, drinking a beer, waiting for your burger* to be done, is amazing. We were both so quiet focusing on our game, and the peace just kind of settled in around us.

*These weren't ordinary burgers - these were Jalapeno Cream Cheese Burgers. And if you've never made them, you are missing out.

Warm weather, full bellies, fun game, Sunday by the river. Yup, the day was good. The day was mighty, mighty good.

Friends, Meet My Dog

It has been said that your dog's mannerisms and character traits can tell you a lot about yourself.

Perhaps that just means that people give themselves license to judge you based on what type of dog you own. Do your judgements vary for a Saint Bernard owner and a Chihuahua owner? Maybe, maybe not.

But I digress.

If people are judging me based on my dog....

Or, if this dog should be telling me a lot about myself...

Then I am one scared individual. Afraid of the unknown and ready to tuck my tail and run.

When I saw this video over at coldantlerfarm, I realized I never shared my own videos of Barley the Fearful. Taken from our recent trip to Cedar Key, FL.

You can laugh at my dog. I don't mind.

Home Day

Whoever planned the 2011 Calendar must have known that I would need a day off today. I won't thank Columbus - he gets too much credit as it is. (Check out the Columbus Day someecards for a little hilarity.)

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Either that, or the wrong side of the bed found me. Luckily, I am being cheered by these things:

 

 

1. Coffee. Usually I put cinnamon in my coffee. As it turns out, nutmeg is equally as delicious. Yum!

2. A book. Have you read anything by Michael Chabon? I literally just started the book, so I can't give a recommendation just yet (he won the Pulitzer for The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay).

3. Comfort. Today I took a shower and then put my pajamas back on. I almost never do that because it tends to make me lazy, but today it is just right.

4. Rainy Day, Slowly Changing Leaves. It's pretty out there with a steady drizzle of rain. A couple of trees are showing their true colors, but for the most part everything is still green.

5. Music. Listening to my Edward Sharpe music station on Pandora today.

Bonus: A dear friend of mine had a baby girl today. Can't wait to meet the little love, and am newly inspired to buy a sewing machine and make some mini baby clothes.

Hope you are having a truly wonderful Monday, whether you are "celebrating" Columbus Day or not.

two weekends away

When it rains it pours, right? Well it's been raining vacation over here, and I'm finally at home hanging with the pup and cleaning my house. Let's do a recap, shall we?

First weekend vacation: Beachin' It

Two weekends ago Tom and I went to Cedar Key, FL. It was awesome, and we even got a new family photo.

Why the smiles? (seriously, even the dog is smiling.) As it turns out, renting a golf cart to drive from your decaying vacation trailer into town is gigantically entertaining. So fun! Really, we had an amazing time. We got our fill of fishing, drinking, boat riding, golf cart driving, football watching, relaxing, and reading.

An Aside: A Book to Read

Speaking of reading, I finished Hunger Games. It was amazing. I'm not going to tell you anything else about it, but you have to read it. I will prepare you for this fact though: the second book in the trilogy (Catching Fire) isn't out in paperback yet. Boo. And if your library is anything like mine, the wait on the book is so long you'll have forgotten the first one before you get to read the second. But still, read it. You must.

Second Weekend Vacation: I Thought About Wearing Flowers in My Hair

Last weekend I went to visit my sister and her Super Awesome Boyfriend Romey. They are amazi-cakes, and we had a great time. Seriously, how cute are these two?

San Fran was unreal. We had so much fun, and I can't believe we packed it all into 3 days. We saw Robert Earl Keen, John Prine, Emmylou Harris, Robert Plant, Chris Isaak, etc. We had great tapas at Cha Cha Cha, great Italian at the Stinking Rose, had a great taco at.... a great taco restaurant that Romey knew about. We saw the redwoods at Muir Woods, walked all over the dang city, saw the manager of the San Francisco Giants (Bruce Bochy) as we walked by the stadium. Ok, I admit, I had no idea who Bruce Bochy was until Romey pointed him out and then talked to him, but it's still cool right?

But do you know what was better than seeing a famous baseball person? Or famous musicians? Or eating amazing food? What was better than seeing the redwoods (bucket list - check!), walking around town and sipping coffee in the mornings? Eating Laura's enchiladas with a pumpkin beer in her tiny apartment? What was better than falling asleep to a movie every night because I was still on east coast time and couldn't stay awake?

Sister time.

Oh, how wonderful is sister time? How wonderful is talking to that person who knows what you're thinking before you say it, who shares your entire past, and who you never have to explain yourself to? I have had Laura by my side since I was 19 months 29 days old. And even though we had our share of fights in the way-back-olden-days, I'm pretty sure she's the bees knees. I love this lady.

Classy Robisons drink Tecates

There's no one who gets you like a sister does. I really lucked out in that arena - I've got two. And even though Laura, Lisa and I are spread pretty far in distance (Maine, California, Georgia), there's nothing that will keep me from those ladies for too long. Without them, I lose a part of myself.

Thank you Laura for hosting me and reminding me of who I am.

Thank you Tom for scoring last-minute Florida vacation rentals and for reminding me that fun exists everywhere. (And for reminding me that it is never a good idea to keep up with you when we're drinking.)

Thank you Romey for making me laugh and for keeping Laura safe from all of the crazy Oakland stories I'm always reading in the news. And for driving me everywhere - seriously.

Yup, September was a fine month.

And with Ellijay Apple Festival, a friend visit, and changing leaves on the horizon, October seems to be shaping up pretty nicely too.