Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Reverb 10 Day 28 - Achieve

I'm participating in Reverb 10, a fantastic month-long initiative for reflection. Here I will be responding to one prompt every day.

December 28 – Achieve

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.
This topic is timely, it resonates within me, it says with a whisper 'yes now you will do that little thing that you have been wanting to do.' Only the thing is not so little. It is big. Very big. It carries with it my dreams and ambitions and being and hopes. In 2011 I will take steps toward this thing - this thing that I want to call my purpose but dare not because it seems too cliche - and embrace it as reality instead of as dream. This thing will start to take shape through the fog that lies between myself and it. At the end of 2011 this thing may not be fully visible through the fog, but the outlines will be. Or better yet, I think that the insides will be drawn in - the heart of the matter - but the outlines will be fuzzy. I'm not sure what the bounds of this thing is, but I will not try to define it just yet. I will give it - and me - time.

And since right now I am still looking at the fog - I do not have the heart of the matter or the outlines or even the shading figured out - this blog post must also be just as fuzzy. I have not defined my action steps or goals or pathways, I only know that I am going to do something about this next year.

All that I can tell you right now is that my lifetime dream is to be a sheep farmer, a shepard, an owner of flocks, a sheerer of sheep, a knitter of wool. These things will find their way into my life. I am sure of it, but I am unsure of when and am certainly unsure of how. Next year, in 2011, I will simply pick up the pencil, sit at the drafting table, peer into the fog, and draw what I see. Next year I will try to color in the heart of the matter - without actually making an outline - and then I will pick up my feet and walk towards that image.

And as for the second part of the prompt 'how do you imagine it will make you feel and write down ten things that will make you feel that way today,' I'm going to skip it. I love the exercise, but it isn't appropriate for this thing that is too big and too murky for me to describe here. I am at the beginning of process, and am going to sit with it for awhile, research it, toss it from one hand to the next, form it and shape it. I cannot begin to imagine recreating this feeling that I get when I imagine taking it on as my own. This is one thing that I do not want to make into a list, and for this reason only - if you know me at all - you must know that this thing is truly big.

pictures from here here and here

What do you hope to achieve next year??

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