Friday, December 10, 2010

Reverb 10 Day Ten - Wisdom

I'm participating in Reverb 10, a fantastic month-long initiative for reflection. Here I will be responding to one prompt every day.

December 10 - Wisdom
What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
I'm learning something about myself. I don't like the -est prompts. Anything that makes me pick one decision/moment/action above all of the rest is very difficult for me. I look at my life as a series of waves - crests and troughs - with no one wave standing taller than the others.

As for wise, that's another topic altogether.... Does learning to wake up at 5am every morning sound wise? How about joining a vanpool so I don't have to waste gas (or drive during rush hour) anymore? Moving in with Tom so we could stop paying for two different two bedroom homes that we both lived in alone? Convincing my family that we needed to take a family trip to Ireland?

All of those were good decisions, but I wouldn't call any of them wise..... I think a wise decision is one that you make with your true nature in mind, and is a decision that must be made even if it is not easy.

With that in mind, starting this blog was probably the wisest thing I've done all year. Not because I feel that I've written anything particularly profound here, but because the very act of writing every day (or at least trying to) is putting me in line with a few goals I've always had on the back burner.

I've always wanted to write something - to be a writer. My reason for not writing over all these years has been that I don't have anything to say. I keep waiting for the magic words to flow spontaneously from my mind to my fingertips to the page. Of course that hasn't been the case. I find myself rapidly approaching thirty and realizing that I still don't have anything to say.

We all have something to say. Tucked away in there somewhere our story waits patiently in the shadows, and some of us find the bravery to tell it (oh that one day I shall be so brave!). This blog has been about so much more than what it started as. In the beginning, I really just wanted a place to write about new recipes and a spot to put a paragraph at the end of the day. I wanted this to be a happy place. Not in a rainbows and fairies fake-happiness way, but in a better-find-something-good-about-this-bad-day-and-write-about-it way. I didn't want to come here and vent (but yes, it has happened). I wanted to come here and reflect in a positive way on what this life means to me. And in the process, I wanted to connect with other people. You are reading this. It makes me feel like I am connecting with you. Truly, you being here is magic for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading.

The process of writing here - and not the content of the posts - has been cathartic. It has been hard. It has been my little space to take a deep breath at the end of the day. Most of all, it has been a place for me to find my voice. I am still trying to find that voice (I'm sure that the random mix of musings/book reviews/recipes/travel updates/life notes has told you that), but I have no doubt that my voice is coming. After all - so the cliche goes - it is the journey and not the destination that defines us. It is the journey that we will remember.

Thanks for being here on my journey. It really means a lot for me to have you here, so thanks for stopping by. I hope you come back again soon.

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